Friday, December 21, 2007

On Inheritances

Note: this is an import from my previous blog

What does inheritance mean to you?

Is an inheritance something that you earn? A reward for "good behavior" over the course of a lifetime? Something parents are obligated to grant to their children? Something that children "deserve" to get?

We've all heard the story of the Prodigal Son. How his brothers were mad when he returned after years away and was greeted warmly by their father, welcomed back into the fold, and generously bequeathed a third of his father's estate. His brothers were pissed. They thought they'd be getting half each. They felt cheated. But the moral of the story is about forgiveness and acceptance, that no matter how far away you travel or how long you are gone, a father's love is always there when you need it.

But look at it from the brothers' point of view. They spent all their time slaving away for their father, pouring sweat equity into what they thought they would one day split equally. To have this interloper show up at a conveniently opportune time (right before the father kicked it), then be granted a third of the estate when he'd contributed nothing to the deal? Preposterous! Obstruction of justice! Unfair! The Prodigal Son didn't "earn" it.

The father didn't see it that way. The father wanted to bless ALL of his children equally. The brothers already thought of the estate as theirs and they didn't want to give up an inch.

Is an inheritance negotiable? Is a Will merely a politeness? Or is it set in stone that this document must be interpreted as written by the deceased?

During this past year, I've been involved in a squabble over the distribution of my parents' estate. This was not something I consciously wanted, mind you. But somehow I attracted it to myself.

The conflict was generated by my sibling, my Mother's biological daughter, who is considerably older than I am. We have always been on good terms, or so I thought. I also thought I knew her. But perhaps growing up under two separate roofs had a detrimental effect on our relationship. She was already graduated and in college when I arrived, so we were both raised as only children. We never had sibling rivalry, or were able to forge that special "us against the 'rents" bond that hopefully occurs between siblings of the same generation. I thought I knew her... until the crisis of a lifetime happened, and she didn't react at all like my parents and I expected. We expected everyone to rally and come together in a crisis.

The opposite happened. True colors and selfishness reared their ugly heads. While my Dad was ill and my Mother panicked and dependent, it fell on me to provide 99% of their care, handle their finances, and make sure things functioned as they should while we waited for what we thought would be Dad's eventual return to the helm of the family. I was happy to step in temporarily. The rest of the family was greatly relieved that I had it all under control and as was said to me more than once, "I'm so glad you're there to deal with this (not me)". We never anticipated that he'd die a few months later. Or that Mother would be diagnosed with terminal cancer and four months to live mere weeks after his passing.

The point of the squabble is that my sister feels shortchanged in some way, though my Mother was very fair and divided the estate in half: one half to me, one half to her. The estate includes two houses, some antiques, and a chunk of cash. I was granted the right to take part of my share in real estate, to claim one of the houses as a permanent home, and the other is on the market with proceeds from the sale to be split equally after taking into consideration the value of the home I chose. To each receive half makes us each quite well-off for a bit and gives us the boost we'd need to jumpstart whatever dreams we may have. So what's the problem?

Somehow, the situation has turned into a negotiation for redistribution of the shares, courtesy of my sister. Questions about our personal situations and finances have been brought in by my sister in an attempt to support the argument that she "needs" the money more than I do, therefore she should get "more". I have been running interference, conversing with the lawyer to remind him that this is a WILL, not a business contract or sale, and that it should not be interpreted based on who has the better sob story or claims to be worse off. I'm trying to ward off bad vibes by not saying how I really feel about this development, but let's just say, it affects my happiness and my comfort level.

It occurred to me today that this is completely counter to what an inheritance is all about. It's not a reward. It's not an obligation. It's not something we children deserve, or should expect, or demand.

An inheritance is a GIFT.

Our parents did not HAVE to leave us anything. There was no obligation to leave it to us. They could have said sell off both houses, and donate all the money to cancer research or charity. But they didn't—they passed it on to us AS A GIFT. An extremely generous, profoundly moving, final farewell gift that originated in their hearts because they love us and because the only thing they ever wanted was to see us happy and fulfilled. Their hope was that by giving us these things, we would be elevated to a better place, we would have enough money to jump start our dreams, we'd have a place to live if we needed it—they were taking care of us.

To "negotiate" a "better" or "more fair" share of this is to completely disrespect the gift and dishonor our parents. THIS is why it upsets me so much. Instead of squabbling over whether my piece of pie is a molecule larger than hers, we should be celebrating! We should be accepting the gift as Mother wanted it to be given to us, with an attitude of utter gratefulness and grace! We should be thankful that, number one, they left us anything at all, and that two, they had so much to leave to us! There is MORE than enough there to make us both comfortable. There is more than enough there to give both of us a much-needed boost into a better life.

I question why I seem to be the only one who sees it this way. I'm happy to be getting anything at all. She's complaining that it's not enough and that troubles me and I'm finding it a challenge to understand her behavior.

The point is, an inheritance is not a business contract, not an earned reward, nor is it a negotiable instrument. It is a gift to us from our parents. Those of us who have been blessed with a gift such as this would do well to remember that it is a gift freely given, and honor it and receive it graciously and gratefully, no matter how big or small it is, how valuable, or what form it takes.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dealing With the Blocks

Note: this is an import from my previous blog

We are all blocked in some way. Mental obstacles are particularly effective at preventing us from pursuing our passions. One of the passages in Joe Vitale's book "Life's Missing Instruction Manual" was contributed by Cindy Cashman, Letting Go of Your Fears (p. 34-38). In it, she suggests,
to create and maintain a clear perspective, [I've] come up with three additional keys: Ask, Answer and Action.
Today, I experimented with the first one, Ask. Cindy suggests asking yourself what is stopping you from achieving your desired outcome. Then, allow yourself to be totally honest and listen to what your inner self tells you. This is much more effective than simply bemoaning "Why..."

I gave it a shot. My biggest obstacle is allowing myself to uncover my limiting beliefs, oddly enough. I can uncover smaller ones, but I know (as referenced in my two previous posts this week) that they are merely offshoots of a much larger issue. So I decided to confront the Big One head-on. The answer wasn't completely surprising, but the details that came after it were. Following is what I typed, stream of consciousness, into my computer:

What is stopping me from going outside of my comfort zone and gaining perspective on what is blocking me?


Fear that if I do so, I'll come upon expectations. Fear that I'll have to live up to my expectations of myself, and fear that those expectations are too great for ANYONE to live up to.

Fear that I'll have to put action behind my words... but won't be able to follow through (because of lack of ___________: finances, energy, knowledge, age barriers, talent, experience... you name it).

I don't want to SEE what is blocking me, I don't want to look past my comfort zone because I'm afraid of what is on the other side. I'm afraid I'm not good enough for the role that's waiting for me on the other side of my comfort zone. I'm afraid I'll have to change too much and that at this "late date" in my life, many of those changes will now be impossible which will lead to failure and disappointment.

I don't want to see what I know I won't be able to be do or have (because it's too late) because the disappointment would kill me; I don't want to know what I could be do or have because then the pressure to become, act on or acquire that thing would be too much for me to bear.

I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to follow through on what is demanded of me if I step into the role waiting for me on the other side of my comfort zone. It's easier to stay put, to stagnate, to just exist as is because it's familiar, I know what the requirements are, I know that I can live "up" to it pretty well. I don't have to do much to be "nothing". Although... misery and depression are heavy crosses to bear, probably heavier than the lightness and joy that comes with being happy.

But it's too much to risk, so I stay in my comfort zone, I stay blocked, I stagnate.

(Boy, I gotta change this!!!!!)

My gosh. I just realized that I just saw the blocks.

Yep. I saw the blocks. It's a bit scary. But now I have something concrete to focus on changing. I really am ready to leave my comfort zone and grow. So... what's stopping YOU?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Counter Intuitive

Note: this is an import from my previous blog

Looking back at my earliest belief system from the previous post, let's see if I can come up with counter intentions to dismantle these limiting beliefs.

1. Authority figures are bad and controlling and cannot be trusted
Authority figures may in some cases be bad or untrustworthy, it's true. But the key point here is about CONTROL.

NO ONE can control you unless you allow them to, give them permission to control you. I am in control. I control my destiny through my thoughts and the subsequent actions that are in alignment with my thoughts. I have the ability to direct my thoughts and actions in a way that manifests my best reality, regardless of who I encounter.

2. I'm rubbish/under par
Simply not true. If this is based on being given up for adoption ie abandoned, then look at the truth you've come to know: you WERE wanted. You were a victim only of another's bad choices, choices they regret. You are special, valuable, worthy, and vitally important to this world. You are ABOVE par. You are awesome. (I'm saying this to myself.)

3. I'm the last resort choice
See above. You are top choice, first class, A Number One, King of the Hill! You are the BEST choice. Your a-parents wanted YOU desperately. All you need to do is want yourself as desperately and enthusiastically.

4. Work extra hard to be good enough or they'll change their minds and dump you
You don't have to work hard to be good enough, you are already far better than good enough and being better than good enough comes easily to you. If anyone ever walks away from you, it is their loss, not yours. Be the best You that you can be, but do it for yourself.

5. Conformity is the key to success
Nope. INDIVIDUALITY is. Life is like one of those 50,000-piece puzzles. If every piece were the same, the puzzle would be boring to solve and quite possibly wouldn't work right. If everyone on the planet were the same, why have multiples? Every puzzle piece is unique, and each one has a special unique place in the picture. Lose one piece and the picture is incomplete. Try to force one into a place it doesn't belong or fit and it will throw off the picture. We are all here with unique, individual talents and gifts to contribute to the world, and each of us is equally vital.

6. A leopard is not allowed to change his spots
Yes, he is. He's even capable of doing so. You are not here to please others by being something you are not. So don't do it. Instead, embrace your own spots, and if you don't like them, CHANGE them. Some may change with you, others may not. Those that don't should be allowed to fall away as their energies are wrong in combination with yours. If you refuse to change because you're worried about how others will handle it, you are giving their approval of you the permission to control you (see #1 above)! You can become anything, do anything, and have anything you want to be, do or have! If it makes you happy...

7. Life should be hard, otherwise it's meaningless
Life was not meant to be hard! The Universe is abundant. The Divine Creator of the Universe wants us to share in that abundance. If things are too hard, then perhaps you're going about it the wrong way because when you are in alignment with your True Purpose, God shows the way, right? When you are properly aligned, you send out the right energy, which attracts to you the right opportunities to help you get where you're supposed to be. Life is, in fact, MORE meaningful when you are easily attracting to you the things you want to be, do or have, and when you are walking in alignment with your true purpose.

8. Generosity is motivated by sympathy: he who is most pathetic wins
The first half of this might be somewhat true. The second half is not. I do know that I'd rather go through life feeling empowered than feeling pathetic; being successful rather than a failure; and being generous out of the kindness of my heart regardless of the story or perceived "deservedness" because it's just the right thing to do. In fact, generosity offered freely before a story is given is even better. Generosity with your friends, your loved ones—that's beautiful. It's good to give to the less fortunate, too, but NOT JUST to them. Giving only to them and withholding your generosity from, say, your family because they don't "need" it is in itself pathetic. So give just to give. Let generosity itself be your motivation for giving.
So far these are the beliefs that have surfaced. I already feel better just having uncovered them.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Beliefs and Purpose

Note: this is an import from my previous blog

Since discovering the Law of Attraction and undertaking a serious, daily study of it, I've noticed a shift in my consciousness. This is better than therapy: limiting beliefs are making themselves known, and I have been carefully monitoring my thought process to catch them in the act and employ Neuro Linguistic Programming to alter these counter intentions to align with my truest intentions. I'm creating an entirely new belief system. This post is divided into two segments: one focuses on Beliefs, the other on Purpose.


I've been uncovering many limiting beliefs (LBs) or counter intentions. There seem to be so many—how could I possibly identify and corral all of them in order to appropriately dispose of them? It would take years.

Or so I thought.

Today it occurred to me that every one of my smaller LBs is a sub-genre of a larger, more primitive LB. Today I was able to trace back to several LBs that were instilled in me during my earliest moments on Earth. The smaller beliefs are offshoots and combinations of the principles therein. That's why I've been only somewhat successful in addressing them—I've been pruning the new growths rather than pulling out the entire shrub.

So far, I've traced back to eight total beliefs. There may be more, but eight is a good start. Keep in mind that I was adopted at the age of ten days and waited 42 years to meet my birth family and get their side of the story. So my beliefs were based on the truth that I knew, not the truth I came to know.

The truth that I knew was that my birth parents were separated, my b-mom couldn't take care of me on her own, and there were older siblings. That was it.

The truth that I came to know after meeting them was that I was indeed very much wanted by my birth mother, that she'd lost all of the kids due to a shitty set of circumstances over which she had little control (she thought), that she'd been given the option to give me up in exchange for keeping the existing siblings, that despite relinquishing me to adoption the other five kids were placed in foster homes, and that eventually she was able to reclaim every child but me, which she regretted for the rest of her life. I also learned that she'd never forgotten me, always loved me, missed me terribly, and always wanted to find me (which she did, 42 years later).

That said, my earliest belief system is as follows:

1. Authority figures are bad and controlling and cannot be trusted
My b-mom was in prison for child neglect (erroneously). The authorities forced her to relinquish me. I was given a lot of good things but was denied the one thing I wanted more than anything else in my less-than-ten-day-old world—my mother. I had no choice. I was controlled.
2. I'm rubbish/under par
My b-mom had other kids already. That she let me go without a fight (so I thought) and kept the others meant that I must've been sub par in comparison to the siblings. I wasn't good enough to keep. I'm disposable.
3. I'm the last resort choice
I was adopted by truly wonderful people who couldn't have another child any other way, and were so desperate for one that they'd gladly take "anything". I'm not special, I'm just what was settled for. Last resort.
4. Work extra hard to be good enough or they'll change their minds and dump you
Because of #2 and #3, I believe that as long as I'm perfect, good, kind, and generous and keep them happy with me, I'll be allowed to stay; but should I eff up or defy them in any way, they'll lose interest and I'll be abandoned again.
5. Conformity is the key to success
Nobody will like you if you're different. Try to fit in better—you stand out too much. It's wrong to enjoy the attention you get or looking or acting weird/different. Uniqueness makes others uncomfortable. Better than you're uncomfortable and everyone accepts and likes the false "you" than to be your true happy, comfortable and unacceptable self.
6. A leopard is not allowed to change his spots
Once you are established as being one thing or behaving a certain way, you are obligated to stay that way. You cannot suddenly change your mind and be or do something else, because it upsets the apple cart when others have to adapt to your new behaviors. You don't want to do that, because you're already on thin ice as it is being last resort choice. Your role was set early on, so you just have to make do. Because we are comfortable with you in THIS role only. We have successfully manipulated you to fit this role because it serves US. Your role is strictly there to benefit us—not you—just remember you are on permanent probation with us.
7. Life should be hard, otherwise it's meaningless
Taking the easy way out is wrong. You only deserve it if you struggle to get it. The more you struggle the more it's worth. You're spoiled—which is also bad—if it comes to you too easily, or you must be doing something shady to get it (suspicion).
8. Generosity is motivated by sympathy: he who is most pathetic wins
Case in point: Mother (my adoptive one) was always rushing to give money to the daughter or niece with the biggest sob story. But if you asked, as if you deserved it, she would snort in disbelief and tell you to go out and get it yourself, you have a good job, you don't need (deserve) it. I was admittedly quite good at eliciting sympathy by being pathetic and hopeless, as was my more artistic niece. She was so good that all it took was a pout, worried eyes, and a woeful moan in her voice and boom. How much do I make that check out for? My sister and the other niece, however, weren't into the whole pathetic act. So they got "less". My sister would pull pathetic only if she had to. My niece, on the other hand, avoided that like the plague, instead getting insulted that she didn't seem to be as "deserving". Mother paid for both niece's undergrad studies. Mother was offended when the younger niece expected Mother to pay for grad school. When Mother refused, younger niece decided she couldn't go to grad school and it was Grandma's "fault".
So. There you have it. My eyes have been opened wide. Number eight came about after my sister decided to crank up the pathetic act with the estate laywer, of all people, in an attempt to sway him to adjust the distribution of the Will so she'd get all the cash up front and I'd get no cash and just the house (and we'd split the sale from the other house so I'd get money "later"). It irritated me so much. The reason? Because she was using #8 effectively, and because my "strength", my "role" in the family was that I was the best at being truly pathetic—it's what I was "good" at being—and here she was proving #4 to me. That's confusing. What I was thinking was:

How dare she! I'm really good at being not good enough and pathetic, and there she is trying to out do me at that even! To prove to me that I'm not even good enough at being not good enough/pathetic!

My challenge now is to counter each of those beliefs with positive intentions. It's quite freeing seeing them clearly for the first time, as convoluted as they are. Now I know that I'm going to be all right, because I can attack these head on and CHANGE them (and myself) and those things that upset me before I'll be immune to from here on.


I'm reading (a bunch of books but most momentarily) Joe Vitale's "Life's Missing Instruction Manual" which has snippets of important concepts. One was about identifying what you really want. He said "I don't know" isn't the correct answer—it's a lie. You just don't want to admit you know, because once you admit to it, then you either have to make it happen, or come up with excuses as to why you aren't making it happen. (He's so right.) So I looked at the clock. I told myself:

OK. For the next ten minutes starting at X, you have a window. During that window, you are allowed to freely state what it is you want to be, do or have, without consequence. Admitting it does NOT mean you have to make it happen, or that you have to make excuses for why you aren't. All you are allowed to do is admit to it. Once the ten minutes are up, the window closes, and you can decide to either make it happen, or forget you ever admitted it.

Then I watched the clock. At 2:50 PM, my window opened.

At 2:55 PM, I realized something.

It's not about being a rock star, or a horsemanship instructor, or teacher. It's about my MISSION STATEMENT. Well, I didn't immediately realize it was a mission statement. What dawned on me, as I wrote down the short list of things to "be", was the driving force behind them. Then I began to understand that as long as it is in perfect alignment with what turns out to be my mission statement, it doesn't matter "how" I execute it.
The Short List:
Editor (music or words, because I love tweaking things)
Composer (music)
Parelli Natural Horsemanship Instructor
College Prof w/a PhD (if teaching something I'm really passionate about)

My Mission Statement:

To engage people's minds, encourage them towards positive change, teach them to think alternatively and progressively, and inspire them to grow. To entertain them a bit along the way. To be a benefactor, a financial conduit to assist others in achieving their purpose along this common path.

So. WHY did I hate my former prepress/production job so much? Or graphic design? Because the clientele as well as the work was out of alignment with this MS. Advertising yet another worthless product created solely for the purpose of making the advertiser rich—misaligned. Especially if that product is harmful to the environment or something. Super especially if the advertising is spin doctoring designed to detract from this. In addition, working for bosses who were more interested in cutting production costs but overcharging their clients so as to line their own pockets but were stingy with the faithful employees doing all the work... way out of alignment. The reason my gut clenches when I look at want ads? I'm expecting to find more situations like this OR I am picking up vibes of companies that are out of alignment.

So what do I need to focus on attracting to me? Work that is in alignment with my mission statement. I realized that I could do graphic design for a period of time IF I was doing it for a company that was totally in alignment with my MS. Suddenly the concept of working is no longer accompanied by a strong feeling of nauseating dread.

What I wanna know is, why did it take me so long to figure this out?

The interesting thing is, as you look at my Short List, except for Editor, all of them could be used to fulfill my MS. (I guess an Editor could be editing publications or music for a company that is within alignment—perhaps editing/proofing self-help LoA books or music for meditation/affirmation CDs.) The Parelli program is all about growth, positive progressive thought, and entertaining while teaching. Engaging the minds of people as well as horses to promote positive change. (No wonder.) Music moves people, lyrics contain messages. Writing, well, duh. Non-fiction, of course. Thoughts, not novels. College Prof? Pretty much does that as long as the prof is passionate about their subject and committed to it. I suppose graphic design could be used as this forum as well, if it's more socially oriented rather than as advertising, though it's not my top choice.

The reason I wanted to be a rock musician in the first place was to reach people through the lyrics and music, young impressionable people, and teach them this stuff. Success came easily to me when that, my Mission Statement, was my goal. The minute it became less about that and more about BEING a rock star, fame fortune lifestyle, the harder it got.

Big stuff, eh?

So. Why do you do what you do? Are you SURE it's your purpose? What do YOU really want?

You've got a ten-minute window with no consequences... GO.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Birth of MM

Note: this is an import from my previous blog

Haven't popped into this blog in awhile, so MUCH has happened as detailed in other blogs.

I've had a thought.

I think I'm changing direction on this blog while it is early still. Since I also maintain two hobby blogs (well, they started out that way) and a private blog (where the really personal stuff goes) and a music career blog (sorely ignored as well), this is sitting here lonely, and I had a thought.

This Law of Attraction thing fascinates me.

I seem to believe that perhaps my destiny is to become—oh, please don't laugh, I say it with a grain of salt—a personal growth/positive thinking "guru".

For as long as I can recall, I've been absolutely CERTAIN that it's possible to be, do and have anything you desire. The more I've read lately, the more I've realized that these concepts are intrinsic—they aren't new. I've been spouting these philosophies forever, but stopped after getting too much negative feedback (in the forms of scoffing, snorting in disbelief, derisive laughter, head shaking, and so on). Over time, outside influences worked their magic on me and I, too, forgot how to focus on the desired outcome and fell into the trap of believing that "reality" is what it is, that this is just the way it is, and that we must resign ourselves to our fate because we have no control over it.

The further back into my past that I look, the more I see that before the world got ahold of me, I was a lot better off. It's kind of sucky that I have to read books and study how to relearn something I once knew how to do very well!

But I remember when I was small, several things:

The day I first heard about the Ohio Lottery's existence. That would have been sometime in 1973, when I was ten. There was a report on TV or radio or I read it in the paper. Just buy a ticket for a mere fifty cents, and you could win a million dollars! I remember distinctly hearing the voice in my head say "Aha, there it IS! THAT is how I'll become rich! I'm going to win the lottery one day—when I'm old enough to buy a ticket." I knew that one day, I'd be a multimillion-dollar lottery jackpot winner. I said as much to my parents. They snickered. I was told that it was very unlikely that I'd ever win, because "nobody ever really wins the lottery, that's just a story". Well, that didn't make sense to me. If they have a game, with a winner, then somebody has to eventually win, right? So... if all you have to do is buy a ticket, don't I have as good a chance as anyone else? Hmm.

I'm still waiting, faithfully playing the same numbers. Here's the funny thing. I've won a couple bucks here and there. Rarely did my numbers come up. Until recently. Since last fall, at least one of my numbers has appeared in nearly every single draw! Once I got the gold Megaball! A few times two of them have appeared! I take the increasing frequency as a sign that it's on its way now. It's speeding up. I just have to hold the course.

Another thing from when I was small was this vision I kept having. I can see "me". This version of me is far better off, thinner, happier, and just plain better than the current version. I can describe her environment, what she wears, how she behaves, the house... the feeling of being that person. It feels great. I want to be her. I've seen this since I was small. I've gotten the sense that she is very well off, pretty much writes her own ticket and has a flexible schedule, and that she does something unconventional for a career. I thought perhaps it was the offshoot of being the famous rock star I wanted to be, but... I don't get the sense that she's a rock star. I had the sense that she was a teacher of some sort, someone people turned to for advice. Metaphysical, philosophical, new agey advice. Judging by the multilevel Mediterranean style open-architecture home with floor-to-ceiling windows (lots of light), fresh air, and East Indian/Native American motifs in the decor, I'd say definitely she's a spiritual adviser. I get the sense that she writes, speaks, interacts, and teaches. Imparts wisdom.


Of a sort.

Now that I'm studying the LOA and Prosperity Gospels and the works of Joe Vitale, Bob Proctor, Anthony Robbins, Joel Osteen and reading books such as Quantum Success, The Secret, The Artists' Way, and so on, and I'm delving deeper into my spirituality... I'm on a profound journey right now and it is life-changing. Even the horsemanship comes into play. I think... maybe this is my purpose. I talk with myself, write, come up with all sorts of theories from somewhere, and then I'll be lead to an article or website or TV show and there it is. Black and white. Absolute confirmation that my theories are on track. It's bizarre.

This morning, I started writing in a journal. It was just a nudge to open the notebook and write. What came out sounds like the beginning of a book. Though it sounds a bit pompous even to me and I doubt anyone is really reading this blog, I think I can safely divulge that I think I'm writing a book right now. I think it's started. We'll see.

Since I was unable to import the comments (not that I had many over at WordPress just yet), here is the one comment to the original post:

No, someone IS reading this particular blog, and I am impressed! You DO write really well! You ARE inspiring! I am on a very similar path, discovering that I want to teach people about the LOA. I already do, in a way, as a personal trainer, Spinning instructor and Master Instructor for Spinning (trainer's trainer). In my own little niche I inspire them to believe they can have, do or be anything they want, but usually from a fitness perspective. I even have two classes I teach at fitness conferences called Moving Mountains and the Secret Ride. But I, like you, want to reach more people, to help them learn and grow and apply the LOA.

I can't tell you how I came across your blog, I just did. It's pretty amazing. I am just starting my own blog, focusing on the LOA in all areas of one's life. And some of what I've written, including in some articles that I haven't yet put on my blog yet (to be edited) is so much like what you've written! It's uncanny. Especially your blog about your family experience. My family baggage has held me down for so long, and I have recently opened up the suitcases, not to evaluate the contents so much, but to find out what my blocks are, so I can take responsibility and move forward! The other similarity is that I am putting together my own Mission Statement which reflects your quite a bit! I am currently enrolled in a 6-month training program with John Assaraf (from The Secret) called the Having It All Challenge. It is this Challenge that has inspired me to do all of the above.

You have a gift. Keep on writing! And people will be attracted to what you write!

Jennifer Sage

Monday, December 10, 2007

Who I Am

Since the About Me limits me to a mere 1,200 characters, I've decided a separate static post is in order.

Who am I?

I'm a musician, horsewoman, fiber arts enthusiast, Parelli Natural Horsemanship student, graphic artist, cat lover, deep thinker, and—I suppose I should say—writer.

Born in 1963, I was raised in a college town in NW Ohio by parents who were wonderful, kind, generous, and loving, but also complex and at times confusing. They did their best, though. I wasn't an easy child to raise, I'm sure! Dad was a professor; Mom an artist; me, a conundrum, torn between being a Good Girl versus the Rebel screaming to get out.

Much of my angst was due to having been adopted when I was less than two weeks old, and the mysteries surrounding my truth and identity. When my birth family contacted me in 2005, much of the mystery was cleared up, and I began the process of rebuilding my identity based on a more complete truth.

In 2006, our lives turned upside down when my parents started their descent towards death. In the lonely, grief-filled months during and following, new insights and awareness began to emerge. I stumbled across a book by Dr. Joe Vitale called "The Attractor Factor".

My world blew wide open. Since then, I've been on a journey of self-exploration and growth. It has become the focus of my existence.

While I am not the same naive person I was in 2006, I'm still growing. This blog is the story of my journey. I hope you'll travel with me.

The New Home of...

the new and improved Mental Manifestation blog!

The original blog appeared on WordPress. It was a great place to begin. But then I decided I wanted my own domain. I have big plans for the future that will require having my own website, and it made sense to include the associated blog in those plans.

WordPress charges users if they wish to have a custom subdomain name point to the blog. Blogger does not. They're free!

Since I now own, I wanted the blog to link to the domain.

So here 'tis.

All the old posts from WP are in the process of being transmogrified.

Welcome to the new Manifestation.