Wednesday, May 13, 2009

More on Assumptions

I’ll say this: getting it straight in my head is quite the journey.

I’ve been thinking for weeks now how I need to “figure out how to hang on to stuff and get through this until I’m back on my feet again” meaning, how to cover the mortgage; how to cover/barter for board; how to triage the bills...

UNTIL I get back on my feet.

Note the word UNTIL.

What does it say to you? Until. As in, a while from now. Sometime down the road.

Focusing on the GAP between “now” (not on my feet) and “then” (back on my feet).


I shouldn’t be focusing on how to ride out the gap UNTIL I’m back on my feet—I should have my focus on BEING back on my feet. PAST the gap.

I tell ya. It’s innocuous, this subconscious thing.

Good thing I'm becoming more aware of my thoughts and WHAT they are saying.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


In the early morning "revelation" hours, I woke up after a really bizarre but good dream. As I came out of the dream, Brain (yes, I consider that to be its proper name) began working overtime trying to figure out, like usual, how to address the various situations in my life that need solutions, such as how to pay bills, how to pay for grad school, how to survive another month, and so on. Brain was working furiously to come up with yet another feasible possibility, when...

A Voice (which is likely God or my Higher Self) spoke up and drowned out Brain's worrisome chatter.

The Voice said:

“The problem isn’t that you need a job, or cheaper board, or even money to pay bills or go to grad school. In fact, these are just symptoms.”

Brain stopped "solutionizing" mid-thought.

My Conscious Self chimed in to the debate.

Oh? Symptoms? Of what? What IS the problem, then?

“The problem is that every solution and decision that you make is based on the assumption of continued poverty.”

Well, that stopped me short. I thought, well, duh, yeah, I mean, I gotta figure out how to survive until I’m flush again—

The Voice cut me off. “NO. Listen. YOU ASSUME POVERTY WILL CONTINUE.”

Uh, yeah, it probably will—for awhile, anyway...



“You are assuming that you’ll probably still be poor for awhile. So you are FOCUSING on the probability of being poor for a while longer.”

Oh for goodness’ sake.

The Voice is right.

Focus means manifestation; focus leads to actions that support the manifestation of that reality of probably being poor a while longer. DUH DUH DUH.

If every decision I’m seeking arises out of the assumption that it’s gonna be awhile before I can afford _________, then I’m attracting exactly that situation to myself!

I’ve been mulling this over and journalizing, exploring this concept in depth. As I thought about all the "problems" I've been facing, and all of the potential "solutions" that really aren't very good answers at all, it began to make sense.

I had already been creating this "probably poor awhile longer" situation, simply by assuming—or expecting—I'd still be in it.

The sticky part is, it's easy to maintain this assumption, when the circumstances around me seem to point in that direction. When I look at my bank balance, or the rejection letters from jobs to which I've applied (and not even being granted an interview before they decide I couldn't possibly have anything to offer them), the bills piling up, the unpaid things... it's very easy to see that should things continue this way, poverty is a given. With or without the added panic from the Media, who cry out about the state of the economy and housing market in such a fearful manner.

The Voice asked another question or two.

“How would your life change, if you lived under the assumption of wealth? Or assumed/expected that things are turning around? What would change in how you approached everything in your life?”


I'd never thought of it that way. I came up with a whole list (which I won’t bore you with) of things that would change. It’s amazing how much different I would be living and thinking right now IF I assumed that it is all turning around, or rather WHEN I EXPECT that things are turning around and that there IS money and prosperity and success on its way to me now.

The point is, I must change my overall expectation from one of continuing poverty “for awhile” to one of renewed, impending, immediate prosperity and success.

That overall expectation is the foundation that drives and informs absolutely every single thought, action, and decision I make, and every solution I seek. Once I shift my overall expectation, everything changes in a trickle-down effect.

All my decisions, all the solutions I seek, every thought and action I have or make shifts to conform to my EXPECTATION. And I’ll get what I EXPECT to get.

One of these days, I’ll have this DOWN, baby. I will.

Once upon a time, I held the expectation of prosperity and success. I hadn't realized that the expectation had changed somewhere along the line to one of not expecting—rather, expecting the opposite of prosperity and success.

I'm not sure if I need to pinpoint when it changed and what caused it to change in order to change back. If I can rewind to a point before it shifted, reset my expectations to what they once were, and live in that mindset again, I'll be all right. But maybe all it takes is simply recognizing that there has been a negative shift, then shifting it back to positive.

And because miracles DO happen, I can expect things to fall into place for me right away—once I’ve adjusted it so I BELIEVE it is happening.

There is one question unanswered: Despite MY shift in expectations, there are still those who require explanations from me and specifics about WHEN I expect to discharge my debts, WHEN I plan to pay off that bill, WHEN I anticipate having money for X. They are less likely to accept the vague answer of "oh, soon—it's turning around, I can feel it, because I've shifted my overall expectation to one of prosperity and wealth." Mortgage companies want deadlines, realistic or not. Utility companies also want to know WHEN.

I'd love to be able to promise "when", and meet it... yet that little seed of doubt emerges and says, "But it depends on a lot of things falling miraculously into place—and you cannot predict when that is going to happen".

Hmm. Maybe THAT is the limiting belief preventing manifestation?