Sunday, April 10, 2011

YOUR Side of the Fence

A dear friend of mine is having issues with the neighbors. Without going into too many details, let's leave it at this: boyfriend moved back in, the property is in a horrendous state of disarray, and the pool is in such bad shape the neighbor kids beg to use my friend's pool. The neighbor's house is in a state of postponed foreclosure and this is in an extremely nice area. To top it off, the neighbors have a penchant for loud music, ATVs, and other irritating, obnoxious, peace-shattering activities.

My friend is beside herself. She'd been hoping that once the woman (the owner of the home) lost the house to foreclosure, newer nicer neighbors would move in and life would improve all around. Finding out there is a chance the woman will keep the house after all has almost sent my friend over the edge.

She emailed that it has activated her weekend warrior side. It's almost as if she needs to go overboard to improve her own residence, to ward off the negative vibes emitting from next door.

I smiled, because that is exactly what she's doing. I sent her a long email applauding her efforts. By focusing on improving her own surroundings, she turned her attention away from the chaos next door and how she decided to allow it to affect her.

Now, she's focused on her life, and what she wants in her life. She has, in effect, reaffirmed her commitment to beautifying her world for herself and her family and maintaining it. She's focusing on enjoying the rewards of the life they've worked so hard to build for themselves. She's aimed an armload of positive vibes into her own surroundings, effectively building a vibrational force field around her property that will negate or at least downplay the effects of the vibes from next door.

It also sends a powerful message to the Universe about what she truly wants to create in her life.

I told her, "focus on what's on your side of the fence, and the other side of the fence will take care of itself". Eventually, the negativity won't be able to stand such close proximity to overwhelming positivity and the neighbors will self-destruct on their own (or, even better, begin their own self-improvement project).

It will take patience on my friend's part, but she's like me—committed to this crazy self-improvement thing—and I'm looking forward to the day she emails to tell me the neighbors are gone, and the new neighbors moving in this weekend are a joy to be around.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Are You Celebrating Future Abundance, or Poverty?

I'm a regular recipient of Carol Look's Attracting Abundance Newsletter and a recent mailing ("Celebrate Your Future Abundance") caught my attention in a big way. (To subscribe, visit

Carol wrote:

The fantasy of abundance is as real vibrationally
as the reality of abundance.

In this instance, "fantasy" refers to the image inside our minds, the vision we hold, as opposed to "reality", which is what we believe we are actually experiencing right now. The energetic vibrations of the image we visualize (fantasy) of whatever it is we desire is just as real as the energetic vibrations of the "reality" we see in front of us.

Well. That got me thinking. I realized that this applies to negative vibrations and visualizations as well as positive ones. Whatever image we hold within our minds carries a vibration. It would follow, naturally, that:

The fantasy of poverty is also as real vibrationally
as the reality of poverty.

If this doesn't cause you to stand up and take notice of your thought processes, nothing will.

Carol encourages us to:

Build [your] abundance by practicing how it will feel when you are enjoying your future abundance in your present time.

Doesn't this feel better than the idea of building your poverty by practicing how it will feel when you are suffering your future poverty in your present time? But wait—

Isn't that exactly what you're doing when you're worrying (about money, health, gas prices, the economy, etc.)?


I believe I've just had a major BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious). You, too?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Apply Your Oxygen First

It's time to apply the oxygen mask to my own face before assisting others.

That's right, 2011 is the year that JB of MM comes first. The year JB moves from the bottom of the list to the top of the list, the head of the line.

No more putting everyone else ahead of me. I've done this for decades, and it has to stop.

Does this sound as if it goes against the "give to receive" basis of the Law of Attraction (or the Bible)? Does it sound as if JB has suddenly become a selfish monster?

No. The truth is, there is a point at which one gives too much of themselves to where it becomes detrimental. There is validity in the phrase used by the flight attendants when they instruct you to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first, before assisting others. If you have no oxygen, you are soon rendered ineffective (because you are unconscious or dead).

Let's face it—dead men tell no tales, nor do they help others survive the flight. It's understood that the one who grabs the mask the fastest is best-equipped to assist those who are slower, infirm, too young, or too terrified to grab a mask for themselves. It is imperative that the strongest help the weakest, but they must practice self-preservation in order to do so.

I've been reflecting on a lot this past year, and I find it interesting to note that the people with the strongest negative reaction to my idea of putting myself first have always been the ones for whom I have done the most: the ones who asked more of me than anybody else, the ones who in many respects took advantage, the ones who demanded their needs be met even when it harmed me in the process. These are the people most likely to snort in disgust and call you selfish, self-centered, spoiled, and claim that you don't deserve anything more because you already got yours (even as they are enjoying rewards beyond compare while you're struggling to make ends meet).

Ironically, the ones who support the Me First mandate are the people that have not required my help, that may have even helped me on occasion, and that I've generously offered to help many a time whether they took me up on it or not.

People are mirrors; sometimes they mirror back what they believe about themselves.

But they also sometimes mirror back what we believe about ourselves. Discerning the difference takes practice and careful self-analysis.

Remember also that the Universe mirrors whatever energy we put out there.

With that in mind, please take a moment and think carefully about the concept of mirroring.

When you stand in front of a mirror, it reflects back to you what you show it.

Try this exercise. Imagine that you have a friend, Fred, with you. Fred's job is to agree wholeheartedly with you, and then parrot back whatever you say exactly as you said it. This means the pronouns remain the same; he doesn't flip it and substitute "you" for "I", for example.

Look at Fred and say, "I come first this year."

What does Fred say in return?

(Did you just say, "Yes, YOU come first this year"?) Uh-huh. I thought so.

Well, that's not what I said he'd do, is it? I said he would agree (Yes) and repeat back to you EXACTLY what you said, without changing a single word.

The correct response from Fred, according to what you said, is, "Yes. I come first this year."

OK. Now you're thinking, what is this, the Three Stooges? Who's on first? No, what's on second?

"No, my friend," you say, frustrated. "YOU don't come first, I come first. Get it right."

"Right," says Fred, "I come first."

"No, Fred... I come first, I am at the top of the list, I, meaning me, JB—oh crap, I GIVE UP!!!"

(Fred says, "Yes, I give up!!!")

THIS is a correctly mirrored conversation. Make note of this, because this is also how the Universe functions. The Universe in this example is represented by your agreeable, doofus of a friend.

What you really meant was that YOU come first. Again, tricky. If you say "you come first", it might yield bizarre results. Who in this instance is the focus of "you"? You meaning the person in the mirror? You meaning the Universe? Do you really want the Universe to misinterpret and potentially put itself before you? Wait. This is getting a little too confusing.

The best way to handle this is to specify exactly who comes first, by your given name, nickname, or other identifying moniker.

Now. Try the exercise again, substituting your name for the words in the brackets.

"OK, my friend," you say, "this year, [JB at MM] comes first. [JB at MM] gets helped first before anyone else does, then [JB at MM] can help others."

Your ever helpful parrot of a friend replies: "Yes indeedie, this year, [JB at MM] comes first. [JB at MM] gets helped first before anyone else does, then [JB at MM] can help others."

Now everyone is in agreement about exactly who comes first. There is no confusion, there is no potential for error—unless of course there is another [Your Name] in your social circle, but I believe if you hold a firm vision of your own face in your mind as you identify it as being [Whomever You Are], the loophole will close securely.

I hope this post has helped clarify one of the stickier points of the Law of Attraction, which is how to phrase intentions in a way that closes the bigger loopholes that cause mis-manifestations. Your homework is to think about this and see how it might have applied to previous manifestations.

Happy New Year, and may all of our best dreams come true!