Wednesday, June 2, 2010

If What We Resist, Persists... Is Resistance the Key?

It seems that the more I dislike something, the more it persists and continues to show up in my life.

I've also realized I have a habit, when I like something, of becoming fully involved in it, almost obsessively for a time, then one day, the enthusiasm wanes. Once this occurs, I'm able to easily let it go—just drop it. Remove my hand, so to speak, and allow it to fall without emotion of any kind. OK, I'm done with that.

This doesn't mean I don't like it—just that I've gotten to a point where I have lost the intense emotional involvement with it that the novelty of newness brings with it. I've reached the saturation point of the event or interest. Obsession is similar to the desperation one feels when negative circumstances persist; only obsession can feel more likeable.

It seems the moment I'm able to reach this point, the more "normal" it becomes for my life, and the easier it is to keep it around. It shows up in my life without bidding, and I'm always quietly pleased, almost a bit blasé, to have it arrive again. Which it does. Consistently, without effort on my part.

The thought occurred to me today that to change my life, perhaps I either have to figure out a way to fully despise the desired life changes (so the conditions arrive and persist) OR fall fully and completely in love with the desired life changes to the obsession point. Then when they arrive, embrace them, obsess over them, throw myself into them headlong until I reach the saturation point and am able to let go.

Perhaps then they will settle in and BE.


Maybe it's about loving the Now. Loving what IS. Even if it isn't very lovable.

Maybe, if I were to have two full-time jobs (a concept that causes extreme cringing and a big NO to rise up), and if they were the kinds of jobs I would never love...

Maybe I should embrace them fully, and LOVE them. Maybe loving them to the saturation point will make it easier to drop them one day. Just, done. No longer need this in my life; now something better comes along.


I'm not sure I've quite figured out this one, but I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.