Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Word of the Year 2010

Christine Kane has a better idea for resolutions. Rather than preparing a long list of vague things to do, she suggests choosing one word to set the tone for the year, and to use as your intention for the year.

Last year, I chose Improvement. However, I didn't really follow through with focusing on the word throughout the year. Did I enjoy any improvements? Sure; but probably not as many as if I'd really focused on it.

This year is different. For the past several days, I've been writing down words trying to hone in on the ONE WORD that will lay the foundation for the changes I need most in my life, the changes that will propel me into the now that I wish to experience.

Several words are on the list: courage, brave, now, re/solved, focus... but none of them really hit home. I needed a word that encompassed every area that needs an overhaul: finances, clutter, decision-making, plans for my future, the path I'm on, removing obstacles—to name a few. How could one word sum up the change needed?

And then I found it.


It's a verb, an adverb, a noun. The path can be clear. I can make clear decisions, have a crystal clear idea about my future. The clutter can be cleared. Clear sailing. Clear a lot of money in a deal. Clear, focused thinking. Joe Vitale talks about "clearing" limiting beliefs before setting intentions. Clear has so many variations, and they all apply to my life.

I looked it up on dictionary.com, and the definitions are astounding. Too lengthy to post here—if you're curious, here's the link to the entry.

Yes. My word for 2010 is CLEAR. It's the clear choice.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

What Are You WHYning About?

What are you WHYning about today?

We all do it. We all find ourselves saying, "Why me?" or "Why did that happen again?" Some say the cure is to ask "Well, why NOT me?" I say we can probe deeper and make permanent changes. You see, I've noticed something.

The interesting thing about our complaints is that they tend to answer the very questions they ask.

Beliefs generate thought energy that attracts situations and circumstances that are in alignment with the belief. Whatever we believe, we speak aloud to others as statements—or as complaints. If the situation is favorable in our opinion, we proclaim it as a statement. But if the situation is not to our liking, we complain about it, and it usually comes out as a WHYne.

Here is an example of a standard WHYne:

Why does it always seem like every time I get close to getting ahead, something comes along to undo it?

Well... it's because this is what your belief IS!

Just remove the "why does" part and turn it into a sentence/statement, and the belief hidden within the complaint is revealed.

(Why does) it always seem like every time I get close to getting ahead, something comes along to undo it(?)


It always seem(s) like every time I get close to getting ahead, something comes along to undo it!

So why does it seem this way? Because it just does! Because YOU believe that it does.

What is the positive opposite of this belief? Well, there are a lot of options. One possibility is this:

It always seems like every time I get close to getting ahead, something comes along to make it even better.

Or, you could try:
I'm so glad that I seem to be getting ahead now.

You could even go so far as to turn a positive opposite into a tongue-in-cheek WHYne, but with a positive aspect:

Why does it always seem so easy for me to get ahead?

I mean, if we're going to complain, at least we can get into the habit of complaining positively, right?

Change the belief that is hidden within the WHYne, and you will change your life. Now—what have YOU been WHYning about today?

**Podcast Update: It's coming! Life happened along with a few technical glitches, but stay tuned.***

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Quick Update

Stay tuned... podcast and eBook on their way!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Do You Know Why Your Outcome Derailed?

I'd like to take an informal poll. Please post your answers in the comments.
  1. How long have you been studying the Law of Attraction?
  2. Do you understand the concepts of clearing limiting beliefs?
  3. Have you done the work of clearing your limiting beliefs through EFT, Ho'oponopono or other methods?
  4. Do you feel completely clear before you set your intention?
  5. Have you had any success manifesting small, unimportant things?
  6. How about bigger, more important things?
  7. Have you noticed a difference between the ease of manifesting smaller, less important things versus manifesting bigger, more important things?
  8. Do you seem to have more difficulty manifesting the bigger, more important things, despite having a strong intention, all the right affirmations and language, and being completely clear?
  9. Do you have any idea why the bigger, more important outcomes are more challenging?
  10. Do you have issues with doubts and fears that arise between the time after you set the intention and before the outcome manifests?
If you answered YES to numbers 8 and 10, and NO to number 9, stay tuned.

I have the answer for you, and this is the only place you will find it presented in this much detail.

This information will be available in two formats:
  • I'll be posting my first hour-long Podcast for download very soon
  • I'm finishing up my first eBook, Navigating the Gap. This will contain the transcript of the Podcast, but will be an expanded version of the topic being discussed
If you would like to be alerted via email when the podcast and eBook become available, send an email with the subject line "Podcast" to jb@mentalmanifestation.com. Thank you for listening, and Manifest Great Things™!

Monday, June 8, 2009

No More Pursuit

I am no longer pursuing my dreams.

Before you all freak out on me... Let me explain.

Something rose up in my attention today about the word “pursuit”. I actually wrote about 17 pages in my journal exploring it. But here’s what I’d invite you to do: get a dictionary. Look up these words, and note the definitions. I got mine from Word’s Encarta Dictionary.

  • Pursuit
  • Dream
  • Generate (Create, Attain, Achieve, Accomplish, Nurture, Reach, Prosper, Succeed)
  • Intention
  • Purpose

I researched these and a few others and I realized a few things.

One definition of Pursuit is: to make the effort to try to achieve something.

OK. Read that slowly. To make the EFFORT to try... to achieve something.

You mean, “to try to try”? Wow. What is wrong with THAT statement?

It’s bad enough when someone says, “I’m trying to do this...” but to say “I’m trying to TRY to do this” is so lame I can’t even think about it. There is no try, only do. At least if you’re trying, you have a better shot than if you’re pursuing (and only trying to TRY).

Dream is defined as something you hope, long or yearn for, but are unlikely to realize.

Hope, as you know, is akin to Wish and Want, which are words that really mean “I lack”.

So to pursue your dreams means...

I’m trying to try to attain this thing that I lack and probably have no chance of ever attaining.

Also, to pursue means to chase. You can chase something and never ever catch it. If you’re focused on the pursuit of something, you’re always behind it, always reaching for it, never quite connecting, never quite catching it. The thing remains elusive.

So now you have an elusive, hard-to-catch thing that you’re lacking in, and you’re TRYING to try to acquire it.

Talk about doomed!

After much research, I’ve decided I am no longer pursuing my dreams.

Instead, I am generating and nurturing my purpose and intention (of having a successful ________).

To generate or create means to bring something into existence.

To nurture means to provide tender care and protection; to encourage it to grow, develop, thrive, and succeed.

Purpose is defined as the reason for the existence of a thing; a goal or intention that one determines to accomplish conclusively.

Intention is defined similarly.

From now on, when someone asks me what I’ve been doing lately, I’ll tell them:

I’m generating and nurturing my purpose and intention. I’m bringing into existence my purpose and intention to be a ______, and I’m providing it tender care and protection, and encouraging it to grow, develop, thrive and ultimately succeed at every phase along the way.

Doesn’t that sound and feel more determined?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

More on Assumptions

I’ll say this: getting it straight in my head is quite the journey.

I’ve been thinking for weeks now how I need to “figure out how to hang on to stuff and get through this until I’m back on my feet again” meaning, how to cover the mortgage; how to cover/barter for board; how to triage the bills...

UNTIL I get back on my feet.

Note the word UNTIL.

What does it say to you? Until. As in, a while from now. Sometime down the road.

Focusing on the GAP between “now” (not on my feet) and “then” (back on my feet).


I shouldn’t be focusing on how to ride out the gap UNTIL I’m back on my feet—I should have my focus on BEING back on my feet. PAST the gap.

I tell ya. It’s innocuous, this subconscious thing.

Good thing I'm becoming more aware of my thoughts and WHAT they are saying.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


In the early morning "revelation" hours, I woke up after a really bizarre but good dream. As I came out of the dream, Brain (yes, I consider that to be its proper name) began working overtime trying to figure out, like usual, how to address the various situations in my life that need solutions, such as how to pay bills, how to pay for grad school, how to survive another month, and so on. Brain was working furiously to come up with yet another feasible possibility, when...

A Voice (which is likely God or my Higher Self) spoke up and drowned out Brain's worrisome chatter.

The Voice said:

“The problem isn’t that you need a job, or cheaper board, or even money to pay bills or go to grad school. In fact, these are just symptoms.”

Brain stopped "solutionizing" mid-thought.

My Conscious Self chimed in to the debate.

Oh? Symptoms? Of what? What IS the problem, then?

“The problem is that every solution and decision that you make is based on the assumption of continued poverty.”

Well, that stopped me short. I thought, well, duh, yeah, I mean, I gotta figure out how to survive until I’m flush again—

The Voice cut me off. “NO. Listen. YOU ASSUME POVERTY WILL CONTINUE.”

Uh, yeah, it probably will—for awhile, anyway...



“You are assuming that you’ll probably still be poor for awhile. So you are FOCUSING on the probability of being poor for a while longer.”

Oh for goodness’ sake.

The Voice is right.

Focus means manifestation; focus leads to actions that support the manifestation of that reality of probably being poor a while longer. DUH DUH DUH.

If every decision I’m seeking arises out of the assumption that it’s gonna be awhile before I can afford _________, then I’m attracting exactly that situation to myself!

I’ve been mulling this over and journalizing, exploring this concept in depth. As I thought about all the "problems" I've been facing, and all of the potential "solutions" that really aren't very good answers at all, it began to make sense.

I had already been creating this "probably poor awhile longer" situation, simply by assuming—or expecting—I'd still be in it.

The sticky part is, it's easy to maintain this assumption, when the circumstances around me seem to point in that direction. When I look at my bank balance, or the rejection letters from jobs to which I've applied (and not even being granted an interview before they decide I couldn't possibly have anything to offer them), the bills piling up, the unpaid things... it's very easy to see that should things continue this way, poverty is a given. With or without the added panic from the Media, who cry out about the state of the economy and housing market in such a fearful manner.

The Voice asked another question or two.

“How would your life change, if you lived under the assumption of wealth? Or assumed/expected that things are turning around? What would change in how you approached everything in your life?”


I'd never thought of it that way. I came up with a whole list (which I won’t bore you with) of things that would change. It’s amazing how much different I would be living and thinking right now IF I assumed that it is all turning around, or rather WHEN I EXPECT that things are turning around and that there IS money and prosperity and success on its way to me now.

The point is, I must change my overall expectation from one of continuing poverty “for awhile” to one of renewed, impending, immediate prosperity and success.

That overall expectation is the foundation that drives and informs absolutely every single thought, action, and decision I make, and every solution I seek. Once I shift my overall expectation, everything changes in a trickle-down effect.

All my decisions, all the solutions I seek, every thought and action I have or make shifts to conform to my EXPECTATION. And I’ll get what I EXPECT to get.

One of these days, I’ll have this DOWN, baby. I will.

Once upon a time, I held the expectation of prosperity and success. I hadn't realized that the expectation had changed somewhere along the line to one of not expecting—rather, expecting the opposite of prosperity and success.

I'm not sure if I need to pinpoint when it changed and what caused it to change in order to change back. If I can rewind to a point before it shifted, reset my expectations to what they once were, and live in that mindset again, I'll be all right. But maybe all it takes is simply recognizing that there has been a negative shift, then shifting it back to positive.

And because miracles DO happen, I can expect things to fall into place for me right away—once I’ve adjusted it so I BELIEVE it is happening.

There is one question unanswered: Despite MY shift in expectations, there are still those who require explanations from me and specifics about WHEN I expect to discharge my debts, WHEN I plan to pay off that bill, WHEN I anticipate having money for X. They are less likely to accept the vague answer of "oh, soon—it's turning around, I can feel it, because I've shifted my overall expectation to one of prosperity and wealth." Mortgage companies want deadlines, realistic or not. Utility companies also want to know WHEN.

I'd love to be able to promise "when", and meet it... yet that little seed of doubt emerges and says, "But it depends on a lot of things falling miraculously into place—and you cannot predict when that is going to happen".

Hmm. Maybe THAT is the limiting belief preventing manifestation?


Thursday, April 2, 2009

Why Pray for Others, When I Need the Help?

Thought for the day:

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed."—James 5:16

Though I'm definitely New Thought, I'm comfortable listening to just about any Christian or Catholic minister/priest/pastor/teacher when they give a sermon, as long as they stick to Biblical principles and avoid straying off into denominational differences (such as is it or is it not a sin to dance, have long hair, and so on). Sometimes I watch Richard Roberts, other times Joel Osteen. I've found Father John Corapi is quite an inspiring speaker as well.

Last night, I was listening to Lindsay Roberts and she mentioned the verse above. She said she'd always misinterpreted it to mean, pray for others so that they would be healed; but that the true interpretation is pray for others so that YOU can be healed.

She related the story of a woman who was diagnosed with cancer. Instead of praying for herself, she immediately went round to all the hospitals, finding cancer patients, laying hands on them, and praying for THEIR healing. Not long afterward, the woman's cancer was declared gone.

Skeptics may scoff at this, but Law of Attractionists and spiritualists alike understand what happened here. It makes sense to me.

Like energy attracts like energy. Put out into the world the kind of energy you wish to attract back to you. Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

If you had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, what would you want others to do? Pray for you. Envision you in good health. Support you. Show love for you, from which you could gain strength. For starters.

Put out that energy... receive that energy. Pray for someone else who has the same affliction as you... attract back the kind of energy YOU need to solve your problems.

What if this was applied to, say, someone in a poverty situation? Or who is seeking employment? Or needs help with their relationship? Instead of criticizing, complaining and giving up on people, perhaps we would better serve them and ourselves by praying FOR them. Pray that everyone who needs a job finds a good one, soon. Pray that those in poverty experience the financial miracles they need to lift them out. And so on.

Do we need to go TO them to do this? I don't think so. I think it would be just as effective if the world's hungry and poor were included in our daily prayers; though it might have more of an impact to go directly TO people in situations like our own. We do not need to admit we share the affliction or condition. But we must be sure to treat them with respect and dignity—never as if we are somehow "better". Any one of us could find ourselves in a difficult position in a heartbeat. We must treat others currently having that experience as we would want to be treated.

Thoughts for the day.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Why Fear Wealth?

One of my biggest limiting beliefs is that being rich will lead me away from being spiritual. I've been trying to figure out why. I think I know.

It's because of the phrase "Idle Rich".

I don't believe there is such a thing, at least not in my world. I'm only idle when I'm poor, because the things I love to do cost money (if I'm doing them effectively). I stay home. I trim down to a frighteningly frugal level of bare minimum maintenance. I haven't had a hair cut in over a year. I do not go out. Period. I use the library. I rarely leave the house. I become tight-fisted and less generous because you never know when you might need that $20. I only maintain cable because my internet service comes through it, and in the event I get a freelance design job, I need to maintain my capability of getting the job to the clients and the print shop. But I've trimmed the cable selections to nil.

When I'm wealthy, OTOH, I am ACTIVE. I'm all over the place! I'm traveling, dining out, meeting friends, socializing, thinking up project after project, starting a new one before beginning the old, "going off on tangents/traipsing all over the countryside" as my Mother used to say...

I'm a go-getter, up and at em, energy ball when I'm wealthy. I'm the opposite of idle.

And that's the problem. Because all of those things are DISTRACTIONS. They are time suckers. They keep me going, going, going like the Energizer Bunny, rarely slowing down to take a breath while the world whips past.

When I'm working it's even worse. I spend 8-10 hours at the job, where it's go go go meet deadlines fix problems don't think just DO and hurry up about it (I was a print production technician and designer), then I go home and collapse from exhaustion in the evenings. Time is lost because I'm too worn out to do anything "fun" or for myself. Weekends are a busy cramfest where I try to fit in all the things I didn't have time or energy for during the week. Church? Are you kiddin' me? Get up early on a Sunday when I could be sleeping in?

And so my spirituality fell short. I fell out of touch with my inner being, with God, with the whole meaning of life. As I wrote in my journal the other day, certainly judging by the events of the past few years, this qualifies as the WORST time of my entire life.

But it has also in many ways been the best. There are a couple of areas that have gone well in spite of it all: my horsemanship activities and my spirituality/self-knowledge. I've had plenty of time to sort myself out, reconnect with God, and figure out what spirituality means to me. I've also worked on my horsemanship and riding, which is moving me towards my goal of becoming a Parelli Natural Horsemanship Instructor and Horse Developer.

The other day, I asked myself what my favorite experience on this planet has been. The answer? My time with horses. The past eight years have had horses in them full time, and it has been the BEST time of my life.

Wait a minute. Didn't I just say it was the WORST time of my life?

Yes. The best AND worst times of my life are occurring simultaneously. The beauty of this realization is in understanding that I've been focusing only on the WORST part, and completely overlooking the BEST part. My joy, my heart, my reason for existing is wrapped up in that horse, and nothing I've experienced any other time in my life other than God has been that joy-filled.

So in a way, this temporary descent into the world of the not-haves has had its blessings.

But... when I return to prosperity... when my life picks up and takes off again... when I return to work... if I suddenly find myself in possession of a large amount of money... will all of this change? Will I revert? Will I go back to being busybusybusy with no time to stop and smell the horse barn? Will I lose sight of my spiritual side, my connection with God, and be mindless again?

I suppose my fear of suddenly becoming wealthy again stems from this sense that my connection to my spiritual side is not yet as firm, not cemented in place. It's still shaky. It's still developing. It has roots, but the soil could be a bit more fertile. It's growing, but the leaves are new, and they must enlarge to take in the nourishing sun. The blossoms are still buds. I fear that one smell of material boost and WHAM goes the plant, tromped down under the shiny new Kenneth Cole boot that just had to come home with me. (I exaggerate—I'm not very materially inclined nor am I particularly attracted to designer labels unless you consider Wrangler and Resistol to be designers, but I needed an analogy.)

All of the material goods that accompany financial prosperity, and the events and circumstances, can become distractions that lead the focus away from the spiritual self and the Unseen, directing it to the physical, earth-bound "can be seen" reality. I guess I just really don't want to be that person anymore. Ever. It doesn't mean I don't want a decent home, my truck and trailer, and a lovely little farm—just that when I attain those, I'd like to also maintain and continue to foster my spiritual growth IN SPITE of my prosperity.

And I don't want to be one of those people whose success and financial status makes them the subject of critical judgment and sneers. Such as a former boss. My friend's husband worked briefly for the company that had laid me off. He told of how because of the economic "crisis", it was necessary to cut everyone's salary by 20%. That was done; then two weeks later, the boss rolled up in a luxury car that was newer, nicer and twice as costly as the luxury car he'd been driving the previous week.

Now. It LOOKS as though the boss did not apply his philosophy to himself and in fact continued to treat himself while making his employees cut back, and that left employees steaming with unexpressed resentment and jealousy.

But is this how it REALLY was?

What if the boss had also tightened his belt? What if they'd been a two-car family; the newer car had been his wife's, purchased during an economic upswing or on a discount because they had a friend who deals cars who got them a deal, and it was fully paid off; and in the light of the economy now, they'd opted to become a one-car family, so the boss had traded in or sold off one car, and they'd decided the wise thing would be to keep the newer, paid-off car for obvious reasons, and his wife was now sacrificing her mobility so hubby could get to the job?

Nobody thought to consider that, though, I'll bet. Besides, he IS the president of the company. His economic standing was always going to be higher than that of his employees. Even if he DID cut back in his own way.

But being the subject of the first assumption is something I wish to avoid.

However, this belief is serving me poorly, no pun intended.

So is it okay for me to pray for a lottery win? Of course. Because it's not about the money; it's about what it can do for me, for my family and friends, and for all the people I have yet to meet that will benefit from my generosity.

I've also realized that the way I behave MATTERS. Despite my economic position, it is imperative that I continue to behave in as many ways possible as if I am wealthy in order to generate the proper vibe to attract more wealth in to my life. Putting out vibes of scarcity and restriction attracts more of that.

I may not have oodles of money to spend, but I can certainly do things in ways that make me feel more prosperous. I just need to be considerably more creative than via shopping and dining out. If it helps, for example, to eat my Ramen by candlelight on the good china with a freshly pressed tablecloth on the table and soft music in the background, then I should do that, while relishing every yummy bite.

If I feel more prosperous simply because my gray hair IS covered, then I should prioritize applying that $2 bottle of dye to my head even if it's not the spa experience I'm used to, then swing my hair around like the girls in the shampoo ads (because I'm worth it™).

It's the little things that matter; and the little details that are the devil to distract you. How you approach them is the trick.

I've finally narrowed down my spiritual leanings and determined that I would be considered a practitioner of Religious Science, Science of Mind, or New Thought. (Note—this is different from Christian Science or Scientology!) I've located THREE (!) spiritual centers in my area and a church of Universal Unitarianism nearby that I'm planning to check out this month. My gut feeling is that once I'm firmly ensconced in a church setting where my faith is being supported and maintained beyond what I do here at home, it will give me the roots and fertilizer needed to strengthen my faith so that it will be strong enough to withstand the distractions that may come up as my prosperity returns. I believe that once it is obvious that I'm decidedly on this path, things will turn around, blocks will lift, and I am being fully restored.

Go forth, and prosper. May you be blessed.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Can We Rethink It?

You know, if we all quit thinking of it as a "financial crisis", it would quit BEING a financial crisis.

I vote we all refer to it as "the financial transition" from now on. Then picture it transitioning into prosperity.

I mean, what the hey--we're awfully good at mass manifesting a CRISIS, right? What if we used our powers for good rather than evil?

Just a thought.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why Do Some Things Manifest More Easily?


Why is it so easy to manifest some things than others?

For example, I quit smoking 10 years ago simply by changing my mind. Seriously! I'd just purchased and moved into my first home, and I didn't want to mar the cleanliness with my smoking habit. I considered insisting that all smoking take place outside, but realized I'd enjoyed smoking inside, so that wouldn't work.

I'd been suffering on and off with persistent bronchitis that fall, and the doctor told me I was pre-asthmatic. Having grown up with a serious asthmatic and being well aware of the progression, I decided maybe I should try to quit.

So I started declaring every chance I got that I was a non-smoker, and, well, here I am, a very happy non-smoker for ten years without a single slip or craving. And not asthmatic, either.

At first, it was a tad bit of a challenge. I had to be on top of reminding myself I was a non-smoker. I had to catch myself a few times before the new habit of NOT reaching for the pack when I got in the car became more natural. But as time wore on, I didn't have to be so diligent. Now, I don't even think about it. In fact, I often forget I ever was a smoker.

Try that with "I'm a multimillionaire". Not sure why, but it doesn't seem to be working quite as effectively...


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Oh, As IF—and, How Do You Deal with Fear?

Today I must admit to something that I'm not proud of.

I'm not always cheerful and upbeat. Nor am I always the best representation of a follower of the LOA or someone of faith.

Sometimes, I fall down.

Yesterday was one of those days. (Before we go on, today is better, so fear not for my well-being.)

In hindsight, I realize there was a lesson in all of this, and that I had to go through it to be able to understand it when others go through it, which they will, so that I can help them by example.

I've been reading Barbara Sher's book with the impossibly long title, "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It". We'll call it Sher's book for brevity's sake. Many of the exercises correlate to self-analysis work I've already done, but some are new. I do those. Most of them.

One exercise wants you to ask yourself which of the Four Feelings is the one you're experiencing right now. The Four are Anger, Fear, Hurt and Joy, as these are the most basic emotions we feel. Other emotions, like grief or resentment, are combinations or variations of the Four.

Well I opened up a can of worms Sunday night. The one that came up was ANGER. With a capital everything. I had no idea. I thought I was just sort of sad. Turns out, I am PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF. At my Mother. At my sibling. At my childhood. At myself. At former bandmates and beaus. At my old jobs. At all of the injustice I've experienced in my life. I let it all out. It was a long night. But I slept well, and I woke up feeling...

Not so good. REALLY bad, in fact. I haven't felt this down-deep depressed in a long time. And it lasted all day. It was so bad... I actually wrote up a note of whom to call in case I couldn't take it anymore—who gets the cats and horses, who to email... in a way, that might have been part of the purge because after that and hours of crying, sobbing and grieving, I felt better. Not good, mind you, but the feeling had passed.

Yes, it was hours of torture going through it. Wave after wave of excruciating emotional pain kept coming up. I cried myself hoarse and my eyes still feel like sandpaper. Apparently I'd crossed from ANGER to HURT.

Thing is, I'd been attributing the emotion to frustration, and believing it was because of my blocked financial situation. I live in Ohio. Our economy isn't the best right now. The excuses are, I have things to sell but due to the economy in this state (when I switch into the old thinking of "being realistic"), nobody's buying; the estate hasn't closed because the house hasn't sold; my employable skills apply to jobs that aren't available right now and the jobs that are available don't align with my skills (or won't hire me because of that nasty little glitch called being "overqualified"), and the correlation between the amount available in my bank account versus the bills that need to be paid is way out of balance.

Poor me.


It took HOURS to work through all of this. Alone. At the tail end of the sobbing, when I'd finally wore myself out, I begged God to help me. I became very quiet. I had nothing left in me, nothing left to say.

For a moment or two, there was nothing but the silence after the storm.

Then a small, soft voice in my head said:

Act as if it is all right.


It continued.

What would you be doing differently tomorrow, if you KNEW help was on its way, if you KNEW that in a few days, it WOULD be all right?

Well, hell. I'd never considered... that I might be living my life anyway BUT that way. This voice and I had a conversation in which it was pointed out to me that I'd been living as if it was NOT going to be all right, and all of my actions—or lack thereof—sent out that message.

Naturally, it attracted the very experiences to me that I didn't want to have, and voila—here I am.

I realized that if I truly believed that everything was on the upswing, whether it had manifested any visual signs yet or not, I would be living a little bit differently every day.

I'd be focusing on improvement (not just emotional): getting in shape, cleaning up the house, sorting stuff, preparing for the future that was on its way. I would NOT be living every day as if it might be the last day I have heat, or with full-on scarcity mindset, putting off stuff and refusing to "get involved" because what's the point? Why get deeply entrenched in a recording or creative project, or my horsemanship studies, or studying for the GRE, when by next week or next month, I might be giving away all my possessions because the person whose couch I'll be occupying when the money runs out doesn't have room to store them all, or I'll be working two jobs just to pay the bills and won't have time for "such nonsense"?

Yes, one's brain can think up some pretty wild thoughts, can't it? It's tricky, true, but my mind is really making an enormous mountain out of an inconvenient little molehill that I really am quite capable of overcoming. The house is paid for, in fact it still belongs to the estate, not me; so the chance of being evicted by anyone is unlikely. I do have friends who would help me out in a crisis if I'm too embarrassed to request a small advance from the estate, and I'm not in serious debt (no credit cards). There are jobs out there, and who knows? If I focus on what I want, I can create it. Hell, I seem to be pretty good at creating the other stuff, right?

The point is, my mind was tricking me. It was feeding into my fears, and it was using MONEY to set up a crisis so that I would avoid dealing with the feelings that I accidentally wound up dealing with this weekend. I even, at one point, seriously doubted the validity of the LOA.

Sidenote: Just because someone had great parents and a nice upbringing doesn't mean there wasn't pain.

When I realized that I'd been sitting on a schload of anger and hurt, and hiding it behind semi-imaginary money woes that I'd created all by myself, I was in shock. When I realized that I'd been acting and speaking as if it was NOT turning out OK, even though I thought I was doing otherwise, I was horrified.

Shortly thereafter, I outlined how I'd behave if I believed, and I began to feel better.

This morning, I caught myself in a thought process I was surprised to have. I realized I'll need to be very diligent and observant because scarcity thinking can be sneaky.

I was wondering, "should I maybe check into the insurance agents I see advertised on TV all the time and see if I can lower my car insurance payment even further?"

Not because it's a great deal, but because then I would have less going out, more to live on, not use up my savings so fast in the event that things didn't improve...

SMACK! What did you JUST think?!?!?

Oh, my. A very complex, convoluted thought, and it was right back into scarcity.

" in the event that things didn't improve..."

Naughty, naughty!

So it isn't enough just to decide "OK I'm going to act as if from now on". Nope, I have to watch myself because the scarcity thinking is so deeply ingrained it filters out subtly without my even noticing.

How do you fix it?

By becoming aware of it and perishing the thoughts.

How does one live "as if"?

It's not that I should go out and act as if I'm a multimillionaire and start spending like crazy. That would be dumb. But what can I do that is in alignment with being "OK" that doesn't cost anything? There are plenty of actions along those lines. When I start doing those as much as possible, I'm sending out the message that I believe.

My objective is to maintain the lifestyle I had before my parents died, which is a comfortable neither-rich-nor-poor lifestyle in which my needs are met and I'm able to enjoy the small pleasures that make life worth living, like an occasional dinner out, a movie matinee, a short roadtrip, and so on.

Continually trimming out more and more things until I'm down to food, absolute basic utilities, and shelter with absolutely no room for even one night out is sending a message of a belief in scarcity.

But that reality thing... so someone asks me to go check out that new restaurant in town. I could answer "truthfully",

"Sorry. Can't afford to right now. Maybe later."

Or, I could answer "as if":

"Sure, I'd love to! This is a busy time—how about we try for next week/next month?"

Not ruling it out. Not claiming scarcity. Just, scheduling it for the future. Which is going to be FINE. Which will be a time when I am more than able to afford it. And, visualizing ahead to the day we go and check it out. Then letting it go. Forgetting about it until next month, when...

Surprise, I'll be able to afford to go.

As for my bills, I'll do triage. Pay the most urgent. Partial pay the less-urgent. Decide that it's OK to pay some next week, when there is more money. Fix these thoughts in my mind. Hold the visualizations then let them go. Expect it to be fine. Expect that the job is appearing. Expect that the blocks are dissolving.

And act as if it IS working out.

But... what about the fear?

Well, emotions come in and go out much like a ride on a rollercoaster. They start at the bottom, quietly, then rise, rise, rise until they peak, then you freefall back down until they subside and go away.

The trick is to hang on for the ride. I've discovered three ways that we deal with emotions.


What usually happens is we sense the feeling rising, and we think NONONONONO and try to push it away. RESIST. Panic rises inside of us because we do not want to feel this. So it tries even harder to get to us, and eventually either we stuff it back down for awhile (ever wary of its next attempt) or it gets us anyway.

When it is suggested that we allow the experience, people worry, "but isn't that going to attract more of it to me?"

Nope. To attract it requires either resisting it (which energizes it) or SENDING IT OUT on purpose. That requires a conscious effort to push it out. Raising your arms and sending it out, or pushing it from your solar plexus—both require active energy.

That's not what I'm talking about.

ALLOWING the feeling is like passive-resistance. You see it coming. Instead of rising up to battle it, or actively sending it out, you STOP. Just stop and be still. Wait for it. Continue to stay calm and breathe through it. You let the energy come TO you and go THROUGH you, but you do not add your own energy to it.

Think of yourself like a reed in the water. Usually it is still and calm. But you see it, on the horizon, an enormous wave is headed your way. If you fight it stiffly, you will break under the weight of it. But if you bend... it will wash over you. You will withstand it, and then it will pass and calm will return.

What you do is you open yourself up, and welcome it. When you feel it beginning to rise, you take a deep breath and set your internal stance to a power position where you cannot be knocked over. Then you wait. The feeling comes. It will rise. It will reach a point where you think "I cannot withstand this anymore". This is the peak.

This is the point where most people cave in, and they either put up the fight or they break.

This is the point where you hold strongest. One more deep breath, and...

There it goes. It's subsiding. Only this time it will likely stay gone.

If it's fear, it'll rise, peak, and fall away.

If it's anger, same thing, but you may need to open a portal and express it safely. Write in a journal, punch a pillow, or yell.

If it's pain, you will have to allow the tears. It's going to hurt like hell at the peak, and that will be scary, but stay with it.

I promise. If you stay with it, and ride over the crest, you will land safely on the ground again, and you will be fine.

I should know. I'm speaking from personal, recent experience.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Gratitude and Now

I came up with a couple of new prayers today that I thought I'd share with you:
Thank you God, that I have more than enough of all good things, plenty to share, and freedom from desire, want and need. Amen.
That’s it. No need to ask for money, love, stuff, food, etc. Just assume He is providing me constantly with more than enough so I can share my wealth (of all types) generously, and that I’m free from desire (cravings, yearnings, wanting what is lacking). That’s a good place to be, eh? And I can be there right now. That's much better than arriving there "someday in the future".

The other one is more of an affirmation:
Right now, I am happy!
As I am,
Where I am,
With what I have,
And who I am...
Because I choose to be.
Thank You, God, and God Bless Me! Amen.
Have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Can You Identify Your Goal in 5 Words or Less?

I couldn't before, but I can, now.

So many blog posts go on at length in an attempt to define a concept, goal, or belief. I should know. I've been doing it myself. As you know, I tend to ramble. And I've been trying for months now to provide my skeptical friends and family with a sufficient explanation of why I find the concept of having a J.O.B. so offensive and out of alignment with my true nature.

I've tried to describe this state of producing things from my heart and soul, of enjoying my efforts, of having more than one source of income and still being highly successful (as in, no need to book me a couch at your place for the month, thanks). I've come up with a long list of the myriad ways in which money can be had other than from a J.O.B. I've tried to dispel the myth my parents told me—without a job, you will not be able to survive.

Along the way, I have (as you probably also have) run across quite a number of folks who are defying that myth daily—people like Portable Empire's Pat O'Bryan or The Attractor Factor's Joe Vitale—as well as people who are doing what they love no matter how crazy it might sound and enjoying amazing success doing it, like my horsemanship mentor Pat Parelli.

It's proof that you don't need a trust fund or a lottery win to have it all.

You've probably tried your hand at affirmations. If so, then you are aware that brevity is the key to success, because it's easier to focus on a brief statement than a long-winded ramble. You know that it's easier to visualize a focused concept akin to remembering one scene than to try to replay the entire movie in your head. You also know how difficult it can be to condense into a short sentence the Ultimate Goal you're trying to achieve.

I'm with you there. I've struggled with the same thing.

Until today.

All I did was read another's blog post. I'm giving a big shout-out to Pat O'Bryan for summing it up for me in his own ramble.

Drumroll, please.

My Ultimate Goal is to have...

"multiple streams of passive income"

That's it. That's all it takes to define my goal. Five little words.

Passive income, meaning I don't have a J.O.B. by definition but I still have the income; and multiple streams meaning it comes from my "various creative endeavors and not one takes primary focus". With multiple streams of passive income, I'm free to pursue all of my activities and enjoy my life rather than waste my precious years working for someone else, doing someone else's "thing", making someone else's dreams come true while mine die on the vine.

All right. I have my goal. I'm heading off now to visualize my goal and set my intention for having "multiple streams of passive income". Thanks for listening.

PS: When you can define your goal in five words or less, please share it with me in the comments.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Energy Shifts

I've been struggling with a few concepts today, but I’ve had insights. Big ones. The main point is:

If I put out half-assed energy, I’ll get back half-assed energy and results.

My struggle has been with doubt and hesitation over actually pursuing a new home business venture that I've been thinking about doing. Being the crafty creative type, with a background in fiber arts, I've been mulling over the possibility of turning my art into profit. This past month, against all logic (because I'm in need of a funding injection, bills are due, and I'm still liberated from the workforce), I took a small risk and invested a tiny bit of money in supplies and equipment for said venture. I launched into it with great gusto.

Then came the procrastination after the first efforts were complete.

I was happy with my results, yet... this nagging feeling began to grow. Since then, I've been finding all sorts of reasons not to focus on my art.

Now, when I think about getting up to do the artistic thing, in the back of my mind this voice of doubt pipes up, saying:

“I shouldn’t be doing this, I should be out looking for a job.”

Yes, I realize I am shoulding all over myself and that's a big LOA no-no.

Well, it occurred to me that no matter how productive I’m being all day over the dye pots, if I’m doing it with THAT energy going out alongside of it, with this little voice in the back of my head nagging at me and insisting I should be elsewhere, then...

What energy am I going get in return?

I'll tell you what: a whole lot of evidence to support that voice that said “I told you you should have been out looking for a job rather than futzing around with that silly little 'hobby' of yours”.

But... what if the energy shifted?

What if I purposely shifted the energy? What if I was actively engaged in my creative pursuits with the constant conscious refrain of:

“THIS is what I’m meant to be doing RIGHT NOW, this is what I AM doing, and this is what is supporting me and my furry loved ones for the next several months or years and it IS successful”?

What do you suppose might happen?

My feeling is that the energy shift is all it would take to change everything for the better. My guess is, I'd be more productive, more enthusiastic, and doors full of opportunities would fly open before me. My guess is, success would begin to chase ME down.

This is so simple, yet so darned hard at the same time.