Friday, April 27, 2012

What It Feels Like to Shift

Ever have an epiphany, and it feels like an exclamation point? Like


Surprise. That's not what The Shift feels like.

When you Shift, it feels more like a period (in the UK, it would be a "full stop"). It's not even a thought, per se. It's like a curtain is pulled back, an understanding drops into place, and then you feel like


When The Shift hit me yesterday, I was seated at my desk in my cubicle at my temp assignment, counting pages and feeding the scanner. I was halfway tuned out, mulling over something random, partially paying attention to the chatter in the back of my brain when all of a sudden I just froze. My body just stopped mid-count.

Time stood still.

Every fiber of my being was on high alert, and I was as fully "present" as one can be while incarnate.

My internal focus zoomed in on a point of blazing clarity. It wasn't even a fully-formed verbal thought, it was more like an idea. A "knowing". The past ten years of my life flashed by in hindsight and I just... understood.

I've been living under the belief that: I've been abandoned by the Universe, I'm being ignored, my requests are falling on deaf ears, maybe I haven't suffered enough yet or proven myself somehow, or maybe I'm just missing some integral aspect in this attraction process stuff because I can manifest gutter repair guys out of thin air, but I can't seem to manifest more important stuff. Maybe it works for others, but not me. Maybe I can't do it the way the gurus do.

In that moment of brilliant clarity, that all fell away and I SAW.

I saw, and I understood exactly HOW the Universe HAS been supporting me, fully and completely, the whole time—I just didn't see it for what it was or recognize it as such because it didn't take the form I thought it would or should. It didn't look "big" enough to be Universal Support.

Silly me.

Within the space of a heartbeat, all of that transpired, and the curtain pulled back, the understanding dropped neatly into place, and then I felt like

Utter clarity and certainty, enough to literally freeze my body AND my mental chatter. (I seriously could not move for a moment, and I lost count, too.)

Shift happened.

Funny, I'd always expected I'd be overjoyed when this occurred (if it ever did). The truth?

Quite the opposite, LOL! I had a minor mental breakdown (within the privacy of my own brain, after all I was at work) because I really felt like I'd had ten years' time where I was perfectly set up (though I didn't recognize it being that way) to explore the exact opportunity I'd asked for mere days before being liberated from the permanent workforce (May 24, 2002), and I blew it, and now my circumstances no longer permit me to do what I wanted to do and oh, had I just realized what I had when it was in my hands, I wouldn't have wasted it... it was a hard few hours until I got home, bruised internally from kicking myself mentally.

When I finished work and arrived home, I was able to explore the idea that had dropped into my brainspace, and I discovered I was wrong. I have not blown it. Oh, I for sure blew the previous opportunities, yes; but I blew a series of them, and each time, the Universe sent me a revised version. I blew that, then got another one... the important point here is not that I successively blew several opportunities that I didn't recognize having, but that in each instance, the Universe kindly offered up a revised version. Every. Single. Time.

This entire time, the Universe has been patiently waiting for me to "get it", to see the opportunity and rise to it, and when I miss it, it just hands me another chance. No judgment, no conditions, no expectations. It just says "ooops, missed it, here, try another". And it will CONTINUE to do so, because that is the function of the Universe.

Realizing that made me understand that it IS all right, that a new opportunity will arrive shortly, that I can never really "blow it". I just need to open myself up to recognizing the opportunities and support when they arrive, in whatever form they take.

I need not fear, I need not doubt; I never needed to. The support is there; the Universe is at the ready, just waiting for me to put in the request. And it has answered. I just wasn't asking the right questions or something, or asking for "enough" of what I need or want. I let my limits dictate my requests, and I got exactly what my limits asked for.

I also realized that commitment plays a big role. The Universe responds when I have fully committed to an outcome—good or bad—and when I get wishy-washy and change my commitment, it changes with me. This is why my manifestations have not happened, or have happened half-way.

It's all based on the quality of my commitment to my outcome.

And it's all based on not just the thought/visualization, but on the FEELING I have about the outcome. So if I'm debating on which direction to go, and I'm worried that I might choose the wrong path, then what I'll get is... the feeling that I chose the wrong path, no matter which path I choose.

It is vital that I make sure I have the right FEELING in place first—then it matters not what outcome I actually choose, because regardless, it will manifest in a way that matches the feeling I have when I set the intention.


How glorious is it that I know I can never go back to thinking the way I used to about the Universe and the support it provides? I will never be limited like that again. I reached the tipping point, I made The Shift, and I'm excited to see what wonderful things I can attract into my life from now on.