Sunday, January 2, 2011

Apply Your Oxygen First

It's time to apply the oxygen mask to my own face before assisting others.

That's right, 2011 is the year that JB of MM comes first. The year JB moves from the bottom of the list to the top of the list, the head of the line.

No more putting everyone else ahead of me. I've done this for decades, and it has to stop.

Does this sound as if it goes against the "give to receive" basis of the Law of Attraction (or the Bible)? Does it sound as if JB has suddenly become a selfish monster?

No. The truth is, there is a point at which one gives too much of themselves to where it becomes detrimental. There is validity in the phrase used by the flight attendants when they instruct you to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first, before assisting others. If you have no oxygen, you are soon rendered ineffective (because you are unconscious or dead).

Let's face it—dead men tell no tales, nor do they help others survive the flight. It's understood that the one who grabs the mask the fastest is best-equipped to assist those who are slower, infirm, too young, or too terrified to grab a mask for themselves. It is imperative that the strongest help the weakest, but they must practice self-preservation in order to do so.

I've been reflecting on a lot this past year, and I find it interesting to note that the people with the strongest negative reaction to my idea of putting myself first have always been the ones for whom I have done the most: the ones who asked more of me than anybody else, the ones who in many respects took advantage, the ones who demanded their needs be met even when it harmed me in the process. These are the people most likely to snort in disgust and call you selfish, self-centered, spoiled, and claim that you don't deserve anything more because you already got yours (even as they are enjoying rewards beyond compare while you're struggling to make ends meet).

Ironically, the ones who support the Me First mandate are the people that have not required my help, that may have even helped me on occasion, and that I've generously offered to help many a time whether they took me up on it or not.

People are mirrors; sometimes they mirror back what they believe about themselves.

But they also sometimes mirror back what we believe about ourselves. Discerning the difference takes practice and careful self-analysis.

Remember also that the Universe mirrors whatever energy we put out there.

With that in mind, please take a moment and think carefully about the concept of mirroring.

When you stand in front of a mirror, it reflects back to you what you show it.

Try this exercise. Imagine that you have a friend, Fred, with you. Fred's job is to agree wholeheartedly with you, and then parrot back whatever you say exactly as you said it. This means the pronouns remain the same; he doesn't flip it and substitute "you" for "I", for example.

Look at Fred and say, "I come first this year."

What does Fred say in return?

(Did you just say, "Yes, YOU come first this year"?) Uh-huh. I thought so.

Well, that's not what I said he'd do, is it? I said he would agree (Yes) and repeat back to you EXACTLY what you said, without changing a single word.

The correct response from Fred, according to what you said, is, "Yes. I come first this year."

OK. Now you're thinking, what is this, the Three Stooges? Who's on first? No, what's on second?

"No, my friend," you say, frustrated. "YOU don't come first, I come first. Get it right."

"Right," says Fred, "I come first."

"No, Fred... I come first, I am at the top of the list, I, meaning me, JB—oh crap, I GIVE UP!!!"

(Fred says, "Yes, I give up!!!")

THIS is a correctly mirrored conversation. Make note of this, because this is also how the Universe functions. The Universe in this example is represented by your agreeable, doofus of a friend.

What you really meant was that YOU come first. Again, tricky. If you say "you come first", it might yield bizarre results. Who in this instance is the focus of "you"? You meaning the person in the mirror? You meaning the Universe? Do you really want the Universe to misinterpret and potentially put itself before you? Wait. This is getting a little too confusing.

The best way to handle this is to specify exactly who comes first, by your given name, nickname, or other identifying moniker.

Now. Try the exercise again, substituting your name for the words in the brackets.

"OK, my friend," you say, "this year, [JB at MM] comes first. [JB at MM] gets helped first before anyone else does, then [JB at MM] can help others."

Your ever helpful parrot of a friend replies: "Yes indeedie, this year, [JB at MM] comes first. [JB at MM] gets helped first before anyone else does, then [JB at MM] can help others."

Now everyone is in agreement about exactly who comes first. There is no confusion, there is no potential for error—unless of course there is another [Your Name] in your social circle, but I believe if you hold a firm vision of your own face in your mind as you identify it as being [Whomever You Are], the loophole will close securely.

I hope this post has helped clarify one of the stickier points of the Law of Attraction, which is how to phrase intentions in a way that closes the bigger loopholes that cause mis-manifestations. Your homework is to think about this and see how it might have applied to previous manifestations.

Happy New Year, and may all of our best dreams come true!

1 comment:

Catherine said...

An interesting thought. It's really important to be sure to put yourself in any visualizations, affirmations and other energetic work you do, and I can see how using a negotiable pronoun could cause problems there.

I'd also like to express support for your "I come first this year" choice. I find that, for many of us, it's easier to nurture others than to nurture ourselves.The ideal setting is to treat ourselves as as important as others, but sometimes to get to this point, we need to emphasize ourselves to shift out of our old patterns.

Good luck to you